Thursday, January 28, 2010

Naina




Ttttrrrriiinnnnggggg….!!! Tttrrriiinnngggg….!!!

The shrill sound of the alarm and the traumatic vibration of her cell phone beneath her pillow.. made her reluctantly search for it. She managed to grab hold of it at last after about 45 seconds which seemed as ages. Opened an eye and gazed into.. “ Aahh ..!! Its 5.30!” , grumbled Naina and grudgingly got out of the bed. The reason for her grumpiness is she had slept at 2 last night after finalizing the notes for the coaching institute which she and her husband Anil had established five years ago.Which over the short period of 5 years was the best coaching institute that trained students for various competitive exams.

She walked out of the kitchen with a glass of lemon juice and went up to the 1st floor where they had made a small gym .After about 15 minutes of workout she went for a shower.10 minutes later she was out with her hair still wet from the shower, wearing a white n pink cotton saree looking beautiful and graceful. She then went to the pooja room to thank god for bringing in yet another lovely day in her life.

The irony is she isn’t that happy about her day today as what happened the last night was something she didn’t expect would be the result of the liberty she gave her husband.Not that she had been living a very easy life,but yesterdays event shattered her completely.A 23 year old, exactly half her age, barged into their house last evening with her bag and baggage insisted to stay with her husband Anil, as she was supposedly in love with him and believes that she can’t live without him. What was outrageously shocking was Anil’s casual reaction towards it and his mother’s apathy.People in all spheres of her life had abandoned her,cheated on her. But what was least expected was such nonchalance. Anil's behaviour was the most devastating. After all the support she had provided him, after being cool about his alliance with random girls. This is what Anil had to say.

“How does it matter Naina, we have so many rooms here. She can stay in one of them.” ,said Anil. As if she was a naïve teenager asking for some donation and they have a lot of money and giving some to donation won’t make much of a difference.

“What do you mean we have a lot of rooms Anil?? the fact that I allowed you to have such friendship with girls of half your age only just cause I felt you might need someone to share your stuff with which you probably were not comfortable sharing with me doesn’t give you the right to let any random girl come to our house and stay here.” Retorted Naina.

“Haye mere prabhu, I am alive to encounter such things in my life now.” Sighed Lata, Anil’s mother and walked back to her room expressing disgust towards the whole situation.

“Sakshi, you need to go back home, I’ll call your mother. You can’t stay here.Thats final. You have your whole life ahead of you.I understand you love him but you can’t live her. You go back home right now, we’ll talk tomorrow after the class.” Naina cajoled the 23 year old. Such is Naina, who despite of how miserable and intolerable the situation is will not loose her calm and handle it with utmost serenity.

Though Naina has seen many ups and downs in her life,but what happened last night wasn’t something which was painless or easy to deal with, yet she dealt with it and got back to her work, completed it and is again ready for the day at her usual time. Unlike other women of her age who would have been in a state of shock at such an event and would have been bed ridden . Naina has been married for 22 years. Stays in a plush 2 storied bungalow with her husband and her mother in law and some 3 servants and 2 drivers in one of the posh area of the capital. Not having children were their choice as the couple thought that they being the eldest of all the siblings(Anil’s family) need to take care of the youger siblings first. Anil’s father died 2 years back. Her mother who had spent most of her life in a kind of trance. She had been regularly injected pain killers for over 25 years as she complained of pains of various kinds. Such dozes made her numb. 25 years of her life she was in a trance. Did not know anything that had been happening in the family. Was completely unaware of the family dynamics. As she had been undergoing rehab for the last 6 years she was now stable and fully aware of her surroundings and how distorted her family is. Which makes her much more depressed than ever. She had no say in the matter of her family. She had 2 sons and 2 daughters. The eldest son is Anil.The younger son stays in Kolkata, he was first working woth his elder brother but cheated him and hence was asked to leave the company. The elder daughter stays at Gurgaon with her 15 year old daughter and is separated from the past 4 years. The youngest daughter stays with her family in Mumbai and has minimal contact with Lata or any member of her family.

Naina was in a government job when she married Anil and he was still struggling with his IAS exams.After 3 unsuccessful attempts at IAS he thought of opening a coaching institute. After starting the institute Naina took voluntary retirement to help her husband with his institute. She would make notes for the classes. Take care of the administrative work and would also take classes. Meanwhile they published a book which was a huge success. They finally got a lot of adulation and success in their newly established institute. Work and home would keep her busy. She also noticed Anil getting too friendly with the girls of the staff. She would not mind it as she thought that a casual fling is okay. As he has no other friend circle, a casual fling will do no harm and probably keep him fresh and enthusiastic. Now if such a perceptual set is generosity or stupidity,can't be commented on.

She would take care of her mother in laws medicines and make sure to give them to her personally ,would come home for an hour in the afternoon to have lunch with her and would take her for a walk later in the evening. Anybody who would approach her with any problem,be it financial, personal or professional, she would be always on her toes to help people out. Expecting nothing in return. Unfortunately she never ever had anyone by her side when she was in need. Not even her husband. She once fractured her leg.Her husband did not take her once to the doctor nor did her mother in law ever accompanied her. She went to the doctor all by her self and got her treatment done.

She would throw surprise parties for her brother in laws and their wifes and kids at their birthdays.But nobody remembered her birthday,noboby would even call to wish her.She would accompany her mother in law to market each time she wanted to shop,even if it was for buying a hair clip.But no one except the driver went with her even when she had to shop for a sarre she had to wear at an award ceremony for which she had been nominated. Though she never complained,but the last night's incident was enough to shatter her. She felt disheartened,dejected and cheated upon.For the first time she missed having a baby. She missed having a daughter, a friend, she missed her mother. She missed being hugged, caressed and cared for. Though she was tough as a nut on the outside but deep inside today she was broken. She had no one to confide into. When she today look back at her life, she saw that there was nothing that she had done for herself. She today feels unloved. She was yearning for love and pampering. Her poised and staunched persona had lost its strength to stand again. She needed to be nurtured. She was this tough strong unshakeable tree who had stood straight all these years against all the winds, rain ,sun and storm but today it has withered, is dry and pale.Her husband couldn't care less.He did not even feel the need to talk about it in the morning.There was nothing wrong with it. There was nothing to discuss about it either.

What is it that Naina should do now,what do you think as an individual that a person like her who all of a sudden realised that she could not take it anymore.She felt the need to be respected and treated right.Her money gave her no happiness.What could possibly bring happiness in her life?What would leave her feeling loved,content and satisfied?


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wardrobe Updated by Mommy

Mommy has been making sweaters for me this winter .. she made me 5 of them 1 spaghetti and 2 muflers this winter ..and all of them are soo cool they look soo amazing plus are soo warm.. it has to be. ma ka pyaar jo hai usmein :P

Thank u momma ..!!

Will soon upload the pics!


My 1st Part Time Job

Sumwhere around the 19th or 20th of this month I got a call in the evening while I was studying for my 3rd semester exams. I usually dont take calls from unknown numbers and during my exams I dont take calls at all... ask those people who have been trying 2 get in touch! :P sorry ppl for being indifferent..!! Anyways moving forward that call was from a lady .. she is a vastu consultant and also a hypnotherapist! she saw my resume at naukri.com which says I am an electronics graduate..!Though I had updated my qualifications in the profile but I did not update my resume :P Yet she called me... that was sweet of her :) So I went to meet her today at her office.. I reached there like 15 minutes before time! Had a pretty decent conversation.. these guys are starting the hypnosis course and are looking for someone who can work along with them in materializing the whole thing..right from enrollments of the students to even being there at the course..and they are paying me pretty decent..!I mean I have been doing almost the same stuff in landmark and assisting there doesn pay you.. they 'll not even pay you the money you'll spend on making calls from ur fone or the conveyance .. which they should if not anything else..!!

So am pretty excited about this new opportunity.. cos hypnosis was something I was interested in from quite some time and working for the same thing would be so much fun and learning as well.
I am soo glad that I made this choice in my life to be a psychologist..!

Friday, January 8, 2010

I am amazed by how happy n content I was this new years eve sitting my home with my books ..revising for the exam the next day... I doubt I was ever this happy and satisfied on the new years eve..even while I was partying with family or friends...!! Though thats not my coolest idea of welcoming the new year ... yet I was soo glad I was at home with mom n dad ..I was soo thankful that i got to stay home for another day ...or otherwise I would have been on the same night in my hostel room...all by myself..with obviously my books but noone around... That was not at all how i wanted to start my new year ..!
But what was amazing was... i was soo happy just being at home n doing nothing..as compared to the rest of the new years eve when i m so upset for not having a great celebration! What I really got in the new year was.. how happy and satisfied people can be with their lives knowing as to what is what most people cant even dream to have,..
When a 15 year old is pissed with his younger brother just cos he had to stay home 2 babysit the younger one instead of going out for cricket match ...he doesn realise how lucky he is to have a sibling than to not have any!!

People do not appreciate what they have but crib about what they dont have...! We should be grateful of what we have around us..and not worry of what we dont have.. what we possess today is what we desired yest..!!

Just be glad as 2 what you have is the best ... what you are not happy with could be something that didnt exist at all...!!

Thank the people around you or god or yourself..for being what you are.. n for living the life you are living ..cos you are at a better position ..if not the best!!