Hey !

Have sat down to write after a long time but I am not quite sure of  what is it that made me sit this evening in my room with the lights off and my lappy to blog.
I have a surge of emotions taking over. I cant quite really get  what is it that I am feeling. What is it that am experiencing. . I hate when I get ruled by my emotions rather being in control of them. Talking about emotional intelligence and effective management of emotions.Its kinda important to understand your emotions and then manage them,control then and express them appropriately. But the most frustrating thing is i am unable to figure out what is it that went wrong,what is it thats bothering me.. why am i so pissed at the moment???

Though I know its not okay to avoid or dismiss such a state but I'll let it be like that and go off to sleep.

Working @ Amity

26th is one date that has marked a  lot of significant events in my life and also in the world (26th jan 2000:gujrat earthquake,26th dec tsunami,26th nov/oct hotel taj pe attack .. all this though show sad events but 26th's for me have been nice n good .*touchwood* )
So here again on 26th of july 2010 I join Amity University as a Lecturer which marks the beginning of my career. I am glad that I could create this job for me at this age. I always kept telling people that i want to be a lecturer but I thought it would take me another 2-3 years to get into it. I never knew it could happen that fast. But it did happen and am glad it happened. Guess the things like laws of attraction ,power of your subconscious mind and clearing does work and I am collecting all the evidences.

I vouch for this very famous line 'your words create your world'  it finally did even though i had no idea as to how will this work.

Talking about the day. It was an awesome day.One of a kind. In the morning when I had to leave i could see how happy and proud my parents were. They were more excited than I was. Being the only child their life revolves around me. The first day at work was nice. Met almost all the faculty members. Everyone seems to be quite nice and friendly. The day passed by pretty fast.Before even I could realise it was 5.30 and was time to leave. All am waiting for is to get classes and get to my work with the students .

Looking forward to a great a new life and career
:)

( Spcl thanks to a student of mine cos of him I have competed this long pending post ...
Thanks Ramit this was pending from quite some time.)

Rain Rain come again..

..finally one big cloud rained its heart out today.. and Noida even if for 15 minutes witnessed the long awaited rainfall. A great start to the week...but its not at all fun for people who get stuck in traffic jams all over coz of the water logging for hours altogether .. any how for me I reeached home 5 minutes prior to the big shower.... n i thoroughly enjoyed it..!!

Honour Killings

As the honour killings on the rise .I had some views about it. Wanted to write about it but havent done that yet. But yeah I did comment somewhere else and the article got published at yahoo top 20 news on 24th of June.

Check the link out.

http://in.yfittopostblog.com/2010/06/24/the-right-of-honour-killing/


The post on the topic is due though. Will write one shortly

6th JULY 2010

It wasn't an extraordinary day but quite eventful.

Mom n I were not talking to each other since yesterday.That's because I was being rude to her from few days and she had asked me not to speak to her until I learn how to talk to parents :P

So the morning was usual and rather sad. I thought that even today ..i 'll kill time over face book and gtalk and would be upset cos mom will not be speaking to me again! But then I got the mail ( that i was waiting for since saturday)from my boss regarding the assessments I had to do. So I had something to work on now. Apart from that I had an interview at a BPO today for a soft skill trainer, which I wasn't very keen on going for.

Anyhow.. I was working on a proposal yesterday "The need of psychological intervention in Indian MNC's" so that Meghna Ma'am n I start working on her dream project. I went to meet her to discuss about it to school at around 12.30. Was glad she liked my work. We discussed various other aspects of the program we ll deliver in the MNC's . She also asked me to give that interview I was postponing from the past 2 weeks at the BPO. I came back home had lunch got ready and left for sector 63 where that BPO was. Had an interview there.The HR executive was sweet but the HR head was throwing shit loads of attitude and he was faking it big time ..it was so evident. He knew nothing about the profile he was interviewing me for and had this crappy attitude. As if I was begging him to give me that billion dollar job. The final round with the trainer head was pretty nice. The lady was a sweet person. Cleared me on a lot of things. But the kind of training I need to give there is something am not looking at. So I might not go there.

Also when I came back home, mom seemed happy and was now talking to me. So I thought I should make up to her and the only way I could think of doing it was by making a salad for her. She love salads. I made Russian Salad for her. Which she liked a lot. Meanwhile I also got a call from Amity to come for the final round of interview on thusday. Now this was a great news. I was kind of worried about the Amity thing. The interview happening on thursday works well with me. I just hope I get through it and things get finalised on thursday itself.

Later in the evening Happy came over to administer WAIS. The testing got over by 11. We then had dinner and he left fr his place at around 11.45pm. I took maggi for a walk and got back to doing what I love doing. Facebook,blogging and chatting. :P

I did quite a lot of things today. However took no action on creating an HILF or on my format :( which is not done and not happening. I hate this no action of mine in the programme.

Will do loads of things 2mrw. The first thing in the morning i'll do is create Structure for fulfilment for the day.

Time to sleep now.

Chao

Things that need to be done after 15th june

1. Complete my practical file and get it signed.

2. Finalise the Pearson training date.

3. Join Dance Classes.

4. Schedule all the assisting at Landmark Education.

5. Start working on ILP format and complete the criteria by 20th july.

6. Start creating the training modules

7.Talk to Meghna Ma'am about the same.

8.Conduct a workshop with ma'am in school on 2nd July

9.Fix the days to visit GVC Systems Pvt Ltd

10.Work on the training module for workshops at Btech college.

11.GAIN WEIGHT :)

Absurdity

When one day you sit down and wonder about the people you had in your life a few years back are no longer a part of your life ..you feel kinda lost about what went wrong ?? how come you are not in touch anymore??

Some of them you feel are on a different frequency ... You and they are now not meant to be in contact... cos of whatever differences you feel you have among each other. With some you realise you have had fights,which were horrendous at that moment ..nothing was more important for you than that issue over which you stopped talking with each other...n now after all these years the reason for the disagreement doesn't exist anymore but you have lost the friend who was one person you probably could not survive widout back then.

Learning Disability Workshop

A team of doctors ,psychologist and special educators at Apollo Noida had organised a workshop on learning disability. There were 3 speakers for the workshop each one working in the same field.

It was a good experience.. got to know how the government is dealing with these issues .It was shocking to know that there is no nationwide prevalence study for LD ,the lack of resources for helping LD students. There were a lot of issues that needs to be taken care of.. in terms of remedial teaching and training teachers, but I hear a lot of talks about the same and not much action.

Here I am standing at a place where most people are through with their student life and are at a position when they are ready to step into the world of work.. in next 2 months i'll be a post graduate. A psychologist for that matter.But still uncertain of the future. A shift from 'electronics' (thats the field of study I graduated in)to 'psychology'(Thats what am doing my masters in ) has been a challenge to start with,accomplishment when I cleared the entrances of various universities,fun n excitement when I started studying it,success and fulfilment when got my results,confusion and worry with respect to what kind of future will I have and how good will I be and the confusion still persists.There is a constant worry of doing the right thing after MA, I am not yet sure of whether I should study further,get into a hospital n intern, join a school as a counsellor or just join some company and do whatever the company wants me to do.

Luckily,to get some certainty, a lot of times I have had a strong feeling to do something for the kids of the nation, cos I very strongly believe and it is also the truth that a lot of maladjustments,psychological disturbances,failures,anti social personality,bad relationships are all the result of what kind of childhood one has had and how bringing up children with careful parenting, good educational,vocational and personal guidance at school can make the future citizens of our country take our nation from "developing" to a "developed" country.

So I am kinda aware of what I want to do with my life ..

empower and enable the kids,adolescents and the parents of our society in a healthy, intellectual way so that they live their lives powerfully and fully and in the process check for any wastage of any human resources,Make sure that each one gets educated not only for a mere degree but to make them competent enough to earn themselves a living,be a responsible citizen,take issues of social concern in their hands and deal with them as if they are their own and not of the people out there.

Sana: Shit babes... look at him .. He is soo hott...!!

Priya: Which one ..??? Red wala ya grey stripes?

Sana: Grey strips darling... aaaaaa... oh I soo want him Pri ..I want him right now...

Priya: Shut up bitch ... put your tongue inside.. act like a female weirdo..

Sana: Aaawwwww.... am i not acting like one.. m not gay.. he s hot and am a girl ... seriously Pri .. he's the last guy i would wanna be with.. he's the kinds i had always wanted.

Priya: Not again.. look at him... he walks so weirdly... as if he was an ape last year and has just evolved into a human being.. give ur self a break ..you nympho!

Sana: Huh! I hate you ..no no ... I love you.. will you be my BF Pri ?

Priya: Sana shut up and concentrate .. i don't wanna score 40 again in algebra.. my life depends on it.. help me get through this misery and pain.

Sana: What your life depends on it jerk... it 'll do no good to you... NSP will surely be good for you.

Priya: Impossible you are.. gimme my aankhen.. ( puts on her specs) ..Ohh Fish.. he is super hawwttt .. you don't want him babes.. he's mine.. see he's even looking at me...

Miss you sweetheart and our crow watching ..love you loads..

god bless you.. !!

My Yet Another 1st

I HAD MY FIRST INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING SESSION TODAY...!! Yeah Yeah

so this is a brief entry as am really trying to formulate a treatment for my very first patient...

was a bit nervous.. Meghna Ma'am ( my school teacher,mom's counsellor,my mentor,guide,coach,role model) messaged me to know that for how long i am here in NOIDA.. I messaged back and she replied that she would want me to take a patient and how much would I charge for one session.. and I was like WHAT??Charge?? who will pay me and why? but then I did zero down on how much I would wanna charge... anyways cutting all the story short .. I went for the session.. ekdum full rocking session tha.. m looking forward to another session on sunday with the client.Ma'am was happy with my feedback about the case. She says will give me more cases in future if I do good.N this one is a pretty tough case. N again I got my yet another pehli salary.. i have enough first salaries now :P

So it ws fun.. looking forward for more individual cases.

ye ye

this is soo xctining

My Name Is Khan

Yesterday I along with my seven friends from hostel went for My Name Is Khan at Kurukshetra’s brand new multiplex.(We now have CCD,Dominos and Baskin Robbins at kurukshetra..yippiiee..) The movie was great .I somehow felt it won’t be that great but surprisingly it was an amazing movie.

For certain obvious reasons. Shahrukh played an autistic man. He was superb. By far the most well played character by him. There were such trivial things focused in the movie that made me ponder more on an autistic’s life. Few of them being

His desire to know minutest details about everything around

His extraordinary intelligence

His relationships

His little brother’s achievements being over looked at

His married life

His straight request for having sex in the middle of the day

His role as a dad to kajol’s son

His simple learning from childhood which acted as a major principle in his life.. there are kinds of people ,good people who do good things and bad people who do bad things.

N how this simple principle led him to be a man that he was.

Apart from the Hindu Muslim issues, the post 9/11 life of a Muslim. One thing that really touched me in the movie was how we as humans or I would modify it and say how I as an individual live life a certain way. Behave with people the way they behave with me. Looking at one very recent event in my life, if anyone bitched about me and tried maligning my reputation, I reacted aggressively. I made sure that I ruined that person’s image to an extent irreparable and leave him/her miserable rather than being calm about the situation, thinking over it whether the person had really said so, and even if he did ,maybe what s/he said was true, maybe I needed to change my own behavior or the way I did things. Vengeance would never win you over anything. It would never make you successful. Even if it did give you the results you had wanted they would never make you happy about it from within. Most importantly it would never make you a better person.

What will leave you fulfilled and complacent is when you take responsibility of your life, responsibility of you failure and success, and love the people around you, understand that each person is different genetically as well as phenotypically. What will win you almost everything is your capacity to love people, accepting them the way they are, not trying to change them or manipulate them. Cos everything you do in your life, every result you have or will ever have in your life will obviously have people involved in it. So accepting them, being proactive is all what will make difference in a positive way in your life.

Like in the movie, Shahrukhs self perception of a ‘good boy’ made him do all the good things and pass on his message( My name is Khan..n I am not a terrorist) and also got hold of the people who killed his son(ooppss sorry 4 the spoiler)i.e., again love, help and forgive people.

So love all hate none (>…<)

God Bless

Naina

Ttttrrrriiinnnnggggg….!!! Tttrrriiinnngggg….!!!

The shrill sound of the alarm and the traumatic vibration of her cell phone beneath her pillow.. made her reluctantly search for it. She managed to grab hold of it at last after about 45 seconds which seemed as ages. Opened an eye and gazed into.. “ Aahh ..!! Its 5.30!” , grumbled Naina and grudgingly got out of the bed. The reason for her grumpiness is she had slept at 2 last night after finalizing the notes for the coaching institute which she and her husband Anil had established five years ago.Which over the short period of 5 years was the best coaching institute that trained students for various competitive exams.

She walked out of the kitchen with a glass of lemon juice and went up to the 1^st floor where they had made a small gym .After about 15 minutes of workout she went for a shower.10 minutes later she was out with her hair still wet from the shower, wearing a white n pink cotton saree looking beautiful and graceful. She then went to the pooja room to thank god for bringing in yet another lovely day in her life.

The irony is she isn’t that happy about her day today as what happened the last night was something she didn’t expect would be the result of the liberty she gave her husband.Not that she had been living a very easy life,but yesterdays event shattered her completely.A 23 year old, exactly half her age, barged into their house last evening with her bag and baggage insisted to stay with her husband Anil, as she was supposedly in love with him and believes that she can’t live without him. What was outrageously shocking was Anil’s casual reaction towards it and his mother’s apathy.People in all spheres of her life had abandoned her,cheated on her. But what was least expected was such nonchalance. Anil's behaviour was the most devastating. After all the support she had provided him, after being cool about his alliance with random girls. This is what Anil had to say.

“How does it matter Naina, we have so many rooms here. She can stay in one of them.” ,said Anil. As if she was a naïve teenager asking for some donation and they have a lot of money and giving some to donation won’t make much of a difference.

“What do you mean we have a lot of rooms Anil?? the fact that I allowed you to have such friendship with girls of half your age only just cause I felt you might need someone to share your stuff with which you probably were not comfortable sharing with me doesn’t give you the right to let any random girl come to our house and stay here.” Retorted Naina.

“Haye mere prabhu, I am alive to encounter such things in my life now.” Sighed Lata, Anil’s mother and walked back to her room expressing disgust towards the whole situation.

“Sakshi, you need to go back home, I’ll call your mother. You can’t stay here.Thats final. You have your whole life ahead of you.I understand you love him but you can’t live her. You go back home right now, we’ll talk tomorrow after the class.” Naina cajoled the 23 year old. Such is Naina, who despite of how miserable and intolerable the situation is will not loose her calm and handle it with utmost serenity.

Though Naina has seen many ups and downs in her life,but what happened last night wasn’t something which was painless or easy to deal with, yet she dealt with it and got back to her work, completed it and is again ready for the day at her usual time. Unlike other women of her age who would have been in a state of shock at such an event and would have been bed ridden . Naina has been married for 22 years. Stays in a plush 2 storied bungalow with her husband and her mother in law and some 3 servants and 2 drivers in one of the posh area of the capital. Not having children were their choice as the couple thought that they being the eldest of all the siblings(Anil’s family) need to take care of the youger siblings first. Anil’s father died 2 years back. Her mother who had spent most of her life in a kind of trance. She had been regularly injected pain killers for over 25 years as she complained of pains of various kinds. Such dozes made her numb. 25 years of her life she was in a trance. Did not know anything that had been happening in the family. Was completely unaware of the family dynamics. As she had been undergoing rehab for the last 6 years she was now stable and fully aware of her surroundings and how distorted her family is. Which makes her much more depressed than ever. She had no say in the matter of her family. She had 2 sons and 2 daughters. The eldest son is Anil.The younger son stays in Kolkata, he was first working woth his elder brother but cheated him and hence was asked to leave the company. The elder daughter stays at Gurgaon with her 15 year old daughter and is separated from the past 4 years. The youngest daughter stays with her family in Mumbai and has minimal contact with Lata or any member of her family.

Naina was in a government job when she married Anil and he was still struggling with his IAS exams.After 3 unsuccessful attempts at IAS he thought of opening a coaching institute. After starting the institute Naina took voluntary retirement to help her husband with his institute. She would make notes for the classes. Take care of the administrative work and would also take classes. Meanwhile they published a book which was a huge success. They finally got a lot of adulation and success in their newly established institute. Work and home would keep her busy. She also noticed Anil getting too friendly with the girls of the staff. She would not mind it as she thought that a casual fling is okay. As he has no other friend circle, a casual fling will do no harm and probably keep him fresh and enthusiastic. Now if such a perceptual set is generosity or stupidity,can't be commented on.

She would take care of her mother in laws medicines and make sure to give them to her personally ,would come home for an hour in the afternoon to have lunch with her and would take her for a walk later in the evening. Anybody who would approach her with any problem,be it financial, personal or professional, she would be always on her toes to help people out. Expecting nothing in return. Unfortunately she never ever had anyone by her side when she was in need. Not even her husband. She once fractured her leg.Her husband did not take her once to the doctor nor did her mother in law ever accompanied her. She went to the doctor all by her self and got her treatment done.

She would throw surprise parties for her brother in laws and their wifes and kids at their birthdays.But nobody remembered her birthday,noboby would even call to wish her.She would accompany her mother in law to market each time she wanted to shop,even if it was for buying a hair clip.But no one except the driver went with her even when she had to shop for a sarre she had to wear at an award ceremony for which she had been nominated. Though she never complained,but the last night's incident was enough to shatter her. She felt disheartened,dejected and cheated upon.For the first time she missed having a baby. She missed having a daughter, a friend, she missed her mother. She missed being hugged, caressed and cared for. Though she was tough as a nut on the outside but deep inside today she was broken. She had no one to confide into. When she today look back at her life, she saw that there was nothing that she had done for herself. She today feels unloved. She was yearning for love and pampering. Her poised and staunched persona had lost its strength to stand again. She needed to be nurtured. She was this tough strong unshakeable tree who had stood straight all these years against all the winds, rain ,sun and storm but today it has withered, is dry and pale.Her husband couldn't care less.He did not even feel the need to talk about it in the morning.There was nothing wrong with it. There was nothing to discuss about it either.

What is it that Naina should do now,what do you think as an individual that a person like her who all of a sudden realised that she could not take it anymore.She felt the need to be respected and treated right.Her money gave her no happiness.What could possibly bring happiness in her life?What would leave her feeling loved,content and satisfied?

Wardrobe Updated by Mommy

Mommy has been making sweaters for me this winter .. she made me 5 of them 1 spaghetti and 2 muflers this winter ..and all of them are soo cool they look soo amazing plus are soo warm.. it has to be. ma ka pyaar jo hai usmein :P

Thank u momma ..!!

Will soon upload the pics!

My 1st Part Time Job

Sumwhere around the 19th or 20th of this month I got a call in the evening while I was studying for my 3rd semester exams. I usually dont take calls from unknown numbers and during my exams I dont take calls at all... ask those people who have been trying 2 get in touch! :P sorry ppl for being indifferent..!! Anyways moving forward that call was from a lady .. she is a vastu consultant and also a hypnotherapist! she saw my resume at naukri.com which says I am an electronics graduate..!Though I had updated my qualifications in the profile but I did not update my resume :P Yet she called me... that was sweet of her :) So I went to meet her today at her office.. I reached there like 15 minutes before time! Had a pretty decent conversation.. these guys are starting the hypnosis course and are looking for someone who can work along with them in materializing the whole thing..right from enrollments of the students to even being there at the course..and they are paying me pretty decent..!I mean I have been doing almost the same stuff in landmark and assisting there doesn pay you.. they 'll not even pay you the money you'll spend on making calls from ur fone or the conveyance .. which they should if not anything else..!!

So am pretty excited about this new opportunity.. cos hypnosis was something I was interested in from quite some time and working for the same thing would be so much fun and learning as well.

I am soo glad that I made this choice in my life to be a psychologist..!

I am amazed by how happy n content I was this new years eve sitting my home with my books ..revising for the exam the next day... I doubt I was ever this happy and satisfied on the new years eve..even while I was partying with family or friends...!! Though thats not my coolest idea of welcoming the new year ... yet I was soo glad I was at home with mom n dad ..I was soo thankful that i got to stay home for another day ...or otherwise I would have been on the same night in my hostel room...all by myself..with obviously my books but noone around... That was not at all how i wanted to start my new year ..!

But what was amazing was... i was soo happy just being at home n doing nothing..as compared to the rest of the new years eve when i m so upset for not having a great celebration! What I really got in the new year was.. how happy and satisfied people can be with their lives knowing as to what is what most people cant even dream to have,..

When a 15 year old is pissed with his younger brother just cos he had to stay home 2 babysit the younger one instead of going out for cricket match ...he doesn realise how lucky he is to have a sibling than to not have any!!

People do not appreciate what they have but crib about what they dont have...! We should be grateful of what we have around us..and not worry of what we dont have.. what we possess today is what we desired yest..!!

Just be glad as 2 what you have is the best ... what you are not happy with could be something that didnt exist at all...!!

Thank the people around you or god or yourself..for being what you are.. n for living the life you are living ..cos you are at a better position ..if not the best!!