Friday, December 30, 2011


Only once in your life you find someone who has the ability to completely turn around your world. You tell them things that you've never shared with anyone else and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share your future plans, the present and the memories of the past.When something wonderful happens during the day, you just can’t wait to tell them about it, and you know that they will be equally excited to hear it. You are not embarrassed to cry in front of them. You trust them that they'll never hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. A phone call, text messages during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You realize that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.

Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Way Back Into Love


I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end.



- Music n Lyrics

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Not that I couldn't see it coming,
It was something I had long been waiting.
Never did I know it would be this hard,
Watching you go, tore me apart!
Thought it was unreal,
Assumed you'll always be near.
Loosing you was what I feared.

I held my head high, as I walked by your side
Tears welling up, I was dying inside.
You asked me how I was, and I mumbled,
 that I am fine.

There is,
No one to hold me when I am sad,
No one to admonish when I am acting bad.
No one to listen to my incessant chatter,
No one to welcome my crazy laughter.

I always knew what I wanted,
stood up for my words  & opinions undaunted.
Had goals and aims,wishes and dreams
But they too now have, deserted me it seems.
I still don't know why I feel this pain,
when I always chose to refrain.

You were sure, that time would heal
life moves on and better I would feel.
But its been a while, I have been hiding behind a smile.

To let you know,
Nothing seems fine.
for the first time in my life,
Guess I regret that decision of mine.

I am sorry I caused you a lot of trouble,
I know it could have been the best fable.
You tried your best, to make it work,
But I was busy reading Elizabeth Berk (:p)
I have nothing with me to explain,
No reason for the things I did in vain.

All I know is that am glad that we met,
The memory of us in my heart is set. (x)
All I wish is the best for you,
Loads of fun and frolic in the zoo! (rofl)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Love - is it restricted to one's age?


Old age brings change and loss and with it dependency, isolation, loneliness and depression. But it can also be a time of great spiritual growth and awareness and for some, a celebration of wisdom borne of experience.
                             
Irrespective of the age, all of us share the basic human needs, love out of which is the most paramount need for the healthy existence of man. We long to love and be loved for more than anything else in this world. Love joins us to the other; it connects us and inspires us. It is clear that at the beginning of our life and also at the end, love expressed is the most valued thing. A need of a companion to talk to, express the love and share your life with is an elixir.

  Older people are no different and certainly these needs can take on a particular poignancy in old age. Old age, as it is, is looked upon with apprehension. The depletions of ageing multiply with the loss of role, bereavement and domicile. Older people with the growing physical limitations and their dwindling family responsibilities are left out feeling lonely and neglected. The loneliness aggravates when they separate with their better half due to the inevitable truth of life –death. The death of the spouse at old age leaves the individual shattered. With their own children and grandchildren busy juggling between their jobs and family it is difficult to find anyone who is willing to listen to stories of their childhood and how things were “back in those days.” But, that is exactly what many seniors need right now – to talk about what their life was like as a child or as a young adult; to feel like their life was important then and is still important to someone other than themselves.  

Loneliness which comes in with the loss of a spouse is a tragic poverty that strikes the elderly .At this age, when the need of a companion is of utmost importance, the loss of the significant other is unbearable and has a toll on the physical and mental health of the individual. It’s crucial to have a companion who can fulfil on the elderly’s need of belongingness.  Many old people, who have endured an unhappy married life or left alone at the last moments in their lives, find the company of a like minded soul pleasurable. When the two souls start finding solace in each other’s company, a thought creeps into the elderly as they approach the dusk of their lives as to why can’t they stay together in their last years and enjoy the moments. When these two individuals are of the opposite sex, the controversies arise. The platonic relationship that the two individuals share is not welcomed by the society, their family and friends.

Few years back in India, two elderly couple got married and few weeks later had lodged a police complaint against their own children physically abusing them. This physical assault was because the children were against the marriage of their respective parents. They leaving behind their busy schedules came back to their hometown where their parents lived to inflict them pain.  As for the children it is a sin that their parents had committed,  as marriage in the old age is not approved by the society. The families feared that their own children would not get married since no sensible family would want to get associated with a family where the grandparents still enjoy their honeymoon.

 I won’t say that the concern they had bring forth wasn’t genuine. It surely was, but then we are the ones who makes this society. All of us are the integral part of it. We are the ones who define the norms of our culture. For sure, the society smirks at the couple, who choose to marry at their old age, but these people in the society can never guess the terrible loneliness or dilemmas that they had endured in life. They may not be living together for the sensual pleasures at their old age. The comfort that they derive from each other's company may be beyond our imagination. One thing that is even more outside of our imagination is the acceptance of any such need of our own parents and grandparents. Love seems to be ‘the thing’ for youth , but the thought that even that’s how our elders think seems to be difficult to adapt and swallow. But the truth is, love has no age. Being a social animal that human being is, he would constantly need the warmth, emotional security, and comfort around him and it’s high time we as the youth understand what our elders want. We being stuck and busy with our own life, if we cannot provide them the time that they need we at least can always support them on their choices in life at the age they are rather than opposing and rebelling the issue. We can understand, respect and appreciate the requirements of an individual and not judge and evaluate their needs and wants as derogatory.
 We might not see a lot of people expressing what they want but if and when they do the least we can do is appreciate it and respect it , the way we want our needs and wants to be understood and respected. If you are the children to those couple, just imagine the happy moments that they had sacrificed for your well being. Even now, a single consent from your side may make their lives blissful at the last period of time. You have the responsibility to ensure at least that much happiness to your parents.

Upasana Chaddha

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

6 years back.. at this time of the year... was desperately waiting for my class 12th results and looking forward to a new future.. advises pouring in from almost everyone on the planet as to what to do and what not .. how to and how not.. 2 years back.. again looking forward to what to do next after graduation and again 10,000 people had thousands of suggestions to give and million questions to ask.. last year .. the most important question.. did u get yourself a job.. and now all people can talk about is .. high time you get settled in your life.. !! oh good god.. ask people to live their own life and stop poking their noses ..let me breathe and live my life.. !! i ll do whatever i need to whenever i want to.


Dear family friends, relatives, neighbours, acquintances, sabzi wale bhai, tailor, kitty wali aunties a humble request from the bottom of my heart please do not give weird ideas to mom n dad!!


Thanks


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Incest In India

My article on incest has been published in a psychology magazine "Psyinsight".

The link to the article is below.

gvc.in/incest_in_india.pdf




Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hey !

Have sat down to write after a long time but I am not quite sure of  what is it that made me sit this evening in my room with the lights off and my lappy to blog.
I have a surge of emotions taking over. I cant quite really get  what is it that I am feeling. What is it that am experiencing. . I hate when I get ruled by my emotions rather being in control of them. Talking about emotional intelligence and effective management of emotions.Its kinda important to understand your emotions and then manage them,control then and express them appropriately. But the most frustrating thing is i am unable to figure out what is it that went wrong,what is it thats bothering me.. why am i so pissed at the moment???

Though I know its not okay to avoid or dismiss such a state but I'll let it be like that and go off to sleep.